Begin Within

My fears of being seen have kept me small. My whole life I have been judged, made fun of, rejected and toned down, especially when I have been at my most authentic. I have been made to feel weird, too much, overwhelming, confusing, obnoxious and annoying. And that’s just the response I’ve received for my insides, let’s not get started on how cruel the world has been towards my outsides. It’s not really surprising I’ve hated myself my entire life and genuinely believed for most of it that I was just a pile of shit on this earth making everything worse. That people were simply tolerating me and that my only value came from what I could bring to the table in service and sacrifice. Even in my closest relationships there comes a point where something in them begins to reject something in me and they inevitably crumble and fall.

I have spent years sitting with this darkness, wondering what it is about me. No longer projecting total fault on the other but seeing the patterns unfolding in my life. Honoring the victim of these painful experiences while desperately wanting to see the part I played in my own destruction so that I can fix whatever is wrong with me. What ever it is about me that keeps me from truly being accepted and seen.

It’s hard trying to accommodate the comfort level of others when it compromises parts of your light that are meant to shine. Choosing their peace over your own as everything inside you screams to explode. Decades of repression desperately wanting to be free. It’s no wonder I choose isolation when the risk of falling into another cycle of suppression bears to heavy a task to hold. I know I am meant to speak. I know I am meant to be a light in this world. But I’m still learning how to be me. Me who honors me. Me who considers me. Me who does things I want to do. Me who gets to be all the parts of me that I want to be. Without judgement. Without having to explain myself. Without the fear of disappointing anyone other than myself. I’ve been showing up for everyone else for so long, I just want to show up for myself for once. I’m so tired of everyone else’s opinions on who I am and how I choose to live my life. 

The biggest blessing from everything I have been through in the last seven years has been learning how to really love myself and my own company. I love who I am. I love who I am becoming. When I am given the space to be free to breathe, I blossom. My sparkle is allowed space to exist and the childlike parts of me come out to play. I get to surrender to the flow of all that I am. Dancing in rhythm to the heartbeat of the earth and life all around me. To be present in the magic of each moment, brimming with the potential to create. To feel at one in alignment with all that is. The divinity within that sparks the magic that we are. To be the full expression of self in each moment. The expansion of light on the earth.

I ask my angelic higher self for the divine wisdom I need to have the courage to be all that I am. To allow my light to shine in its full authenticity even when discomfort is created in another. To stay in a place of expansion without dimming my light and making myself small. How do I move through the emotions of sadness and fear without allowing them to destroy me?

Beloved Heart, it is in the essence of all that you are and the embodiment of the I AM that will allow you the strength you feel is needed in times of conflict with others. Dearest Heart, there is a light within you that burns brightly, guiding you on the path of enlightenment. The knowing you hold deep within you, calling you forward. You are being drawn upon the path, Dearest Heart, for there is purpose in your light in the ways in which you are uniquely all that you are. Surrender Dearest Heart to the One Heart of All That Is. Beloved there is no place for the mind upon the earth when you walk in alignment with all that is. For it is the mind that creates the illusions that trap you in fear. That trap you in the weight of opinions and judgments, the reflections of the shadows in your own heart Dearest One. For what you see in others is simply a reflection of what you hold. The rejection of the parts of yourself that want to be seen. Dearest Heart you are the one in control. We ask you to surrender and allow while holding the key of creation. It is in what you choose to create Dearest One, for when you create rejection within your heart, the world in which you create will reflect back the rejection of self that you hold. We ask you Dearest Heart to simply allow the parts of your being that you so desperately reject from being seen, be held in love. To be honored, to be cherished, celebrated and loved. And it is then Dearest One, you will see the same acceptance and love from the world around. Begin within. Namaste

June 1, 2026 | Heather Harti, Soul Star Inspired Wellness